7 April 2025
Anxiety. It creeps in like an uninvited guest, making itself at home in your thoughts, your chest, your sleep. And if you're anything like most people, you've probably tried everything—deep breathing, meditation apps, exercise, journaling... the list goes on.
But what if the real answer to calming that mental chaos was simpler than we think?
Not easy—let's be real—but simple.
Let me introduce you to a concept that's been a game changer for so many: letting go through acceptance.
What Does "Letting Go" Really Mean?
Let’s clear this up right off the bat. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not. It’s not about ignoring problems or telling yourself to “just chill.” If it were that easy, anxiety wouldn't be that pesky house guest squatting in your nervous system.Letting go means acknowledging what you can’t control and choosing not to fight it. It’s about giving yourself permission to feel, to be uncertain, and still move forward.
It's like unclenching a fist you didn’t know you were holding all day.
Why We Hold On So Tightly
Ever find yourself replaying a conversation from three days ago? Or catastrophizing something that hasn’t even happened? We’ve all been there.We hold on to thoughts, feelings, and fears because, deep down, we believe they’re protecting us. Worry feels like control. Overthinking feels like preparation. But what they actually do is feed anxiety. It's like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
Our brains are hardwired to avoid uncertainty. So, we grip tightly to what we think we know, even if it’s hurting us.
How Acceptance Reduces Anxiety
This is where acceptance comes in—the secret sauce to letting go.Acceptance Isn’t Giving In—It’s Getting Real
Acceptance is about facing the present moment exactly as it is. No sugarcoating. No resistance. Just being with it.Think of it like floating on water. The more you fight it, the more you sink. But if you lean back and let the water hold you, you stay afloat. That’s what acceptance does for your mind.
Acceptance Eases the Battle in Your Head
Anxiety often feels like an internal tug-of-war. Part of you wants to control every outcome, while another part is drowning in “what ifs.” Acceptance lets you drop the rope.Instead of constantly resisting your fears or trying to fix every uncomfortable emotion, you let them be there. Not because you like them, but because you realize they’re temporary. And manageable.
Practical Ways to Start Letting Go
Alright, time to get into the nitty-gritty. How do you actually do this whole "letting go through acceptance" thing? It’s not a switch you flip—it’s a practice. And like any good habit, it gets easier with time.1. Name What You're Feeling
The first step in letting go is knowing what you’re holding. Sounds simple, but most of us skip this part.Next time you’re anxious, pause and ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling right now?
Don’t just say “I feel bad” or “I’m stressed.” Try to identify the emotion: fear, shame, guilt, anger, overwhelm. Give it a name—it makes it feel less like a monster and more like a message.
2. Notice Without Judging
This part is crucial. We often get stuck in self-judgment.“I shouldn’t be feeling this.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just get over it?”
These thoughts only add more fuel to the anxiety fire.
Instead, observe your emotions like a curious scientist. Notice them, feel them, and resist the urge to label them as good or bad. They’re just part of being human.
3. Sit With Discomfort
Yes, it sucks. It’s uncomfortable. But sitting with that discomfort—rather than running from it—is one of the most powerful things you can do.Try this: when anxiety hits, take a seat. Close your eyes. Put your hand on your chest or your stomach and breathe. Don’t try to make the feeling go away. Just let it be there.
It’s strange, but the less you fight it, the less power it has over you.
4. Let Go of the Illusion of Control
Here’s a tough pill to swallow: you can’t control everything.We spend so much time trying to avoid failure, rejection, or loss. But in reality, life happens no matter how hard we try to steer it.
Accepting that doesn’t mean you stop caring. It just means you stop obsessing over every detail. When you let go of control, you make space for peace.
5. Reframe Your Thoughts
We can’t always stop anxious thoughts from entering our minds, but we can choose what we do with them.Next time a “what if” thought pops up, try this:
Instead of: “What if I fail?”
Say: “Even if I fail, I’ll figure it out.”
Instead of: “I can’t handle this,”
Say: “This feels hard, but I’ve been through hard things before.”
Reframing doesn’t erase anxiety—but it shifts your mindset from fear to resilience.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness isn't just meditation with incense and yoga pants. It’s about being fully present. In your body. In this moment. Without spiraling into the past or future.You can practice it anytime—while walking, eating, showering, or just breathing.
When you focus on now, anxiety loses its grip. Because most anxiety lives in the “what ifs,” not the “what is.”
7. Forgive Yourself
We’re often our own worst critics. Every mistake, every awkward moment—we replay them like they’re part of a blooper reel stuck on repeat.Letting go includes self-forgiveness. You’re allowed to be imperfect. To mess up. To not have it all figured out.
Self-compassion isn’t weakness. It’s fuel for healing.
When Letting Go Gets Hard
Letting go doesn’t mean apathy. It doesn’t mean "don’t care." It means caring wisely—putting your energy where it actually helps.That said, it’s not always easy. Trauma, loss, and deep-rooted fears don’t disappear overnight. And that’s okay.
Some days will feel heavier than others. There will be moments when letting go feels impossible. That’s part of the process too.
Be patient. Be kind. Keep showing up for yourself.
The Role of Therapy and Support
Sometimes, letting go isn’t something you can do alone. And that’s perfectly okay.Therapists—especially those trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or mindfulness-based approaches—can be huge allies in teaching you how to accept and manage anxious thoughts.
Support groups, online forums, and trusted friends can also help you realize you’re not alone. Because you're not.
Tiny Actions, Big Impact
Still with me?Letting go isn’t one big "aha!" moment. It’s a series of tiny acts:
- Taking a breath instead of sending that angry text.
- Choosing to rest instead of overworking.
- Saying no even when you’re scared it might disappoint someone.
- Letting that judgmental thought float by like a cloud.
These small steps build up, slowly but surely, creating a more peaceful headspace.
Wrapping It Up
Anxiety doesn’t magically vanish. But it doesn’t have to run the show, either.When you stop resisting every uncomfortable thought and start accepting what is, you free up so much mental energy. Energy you can use for living, connecting, and just being.
Letting go isn’t about losing—it’s about gaining freedom.
So, next time anxiety comes knocking, try this:
Pause. Breathe. Feel. Accept. Let go.
You’ve got this.
Idris McInerney
Thank you for sharing this insightful article! Embracing acceptance really resonates with me. It's a gentle reminder that letting go can lead to greater peace and clarity amidst life's challenges. Grateful for these wise words!
April 20, 2025 at 2:48 AM